The Betrayal
by Totallytwistedwords
Summary: A heartbroken Castiel sets forth into the world, determined to put the source of his pain-namely one Dean Winchester- far behind him. Castiel, a fallen angel, must adjust to human life without the man he had come to love, and who he believed loved him in return.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm sorry, Cas." The words had been echoing through the former angel's head for days. "I'm so sorry." Castiel had left not long after that, his few belongings in a bag slung on his back. Two T-shirts, a single pair a jeans, an old bible, and two pairs of socks. Add that to the clothes he wore (a t-shirt, jacket, and jeans) and his shoes (work boots) and you arrive at all of Cas's worldly possessions. He had no marketable skills, no money, and no place to go. Still Dean let him leave, let him walk away without a fight. Cas had been on the move ever since. He hadn't eaten for days-he wasn't sure how many- and knew he needed to soon. He absently stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and was surprised when his fingers struck something. He pulled it out wearily, unsure what to expect. He stared, dumbfounded, for a long moment before he understood. The money clip he held in his hand belonged to Dean. It was full to burst with 50s and 20s. Dean must have slipped in into his pocket when he wasn't paying attention. Even through his betrayal, Dean was trying to look after him. Cas kept walking until he came upon a small town. He got a room in a very low-end hotel, and ate at a greasy diner. When he went to sleep that night, he dreamed of Dean. Dean's hands, caressing a lithe body, groping for more- Cas was awoken several hours later by heavy banging on the motel room door.

"Cas! I know you're in there! Let me in!" As Castiel's mind began to clear of sleep, he recognized the voice. Sam had found him. He stumbled to the door, clad only in his jeans. He opened the door slightly to see Sam and the cold outside made him shiver. He opened the door wider, indicating that Sam should come in. Before closing the door, Cas glanced around the quiet parking lot. There, on the far end, as far away from Castiel's room as you could get and still be in sight, sat the Impala. Leaning against it was Dean, face a mask of pain and desperation. His own face carefully blank, Cas turned back into the motel room and closed the door softly behind him.

"Hello, Sam." he greeted quietly, leaning heavily against the door.

"Look, I get that you and Dean are fighting or something, but we all know you guys always forgive each other." Sam's voice was bitter as he spoke, practically spitting out the words in distaste. "Just go home, Cas. I'm sure whatever happened, Dean's forgiven you. "I mean, he did drive me all way out here..." Castiel's spine straightened and his eyes flashed with unbridled anger.

"You assume that I have done wrong? You put yourself into our lives but do not know what has happened? I am not the one who should hope for forgiveness, though your brother would do better to pray, absent as God may be, than show himself to me. I cannot promise he would come out of the conversation undamaged."" For just a moment, Sam could see the Avenging Angel of the Lord Castiel had been not too long ago and was afraid he might be smited in Dean's place. Then Cas slumped, his shoulders folding in on himself, just a hurt human like everyone else. "Go, please." Now he whispered, utterly defeated. "I have no wish to quarrel with you, Sam. Please, just... go." He stepped around the larger human, allowing him access to the door. Sam, still utterly shocked, did as he was bid, leaving the room without another word.

"Was he okay?" Dean asked the moment Sam was within hearing range. "Did he look alright?" Sam shook his head, running his hand through his hair.

"I think you should tell me what happened. Dean smiled up at his brother sadly.

"I did a bad thing, Sammy.

* * *

**A/N Hey guys! I know this chapter is short but the next one will be up really soon and it's a bit longer. :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Last time...**

**"I think you should tell me what happened." Dean smiled up at his brother sadly.**

**"I did a bad thing, Sammy."**

* * *

The next morning, Castiel woke up sore. His legs ached from his prolonged walk, as did his feet, and for some reason, his back and arms. He flinched when he tried to move, eventually deciding one more night in the dingy hotel wouldn't kill him. Just as he began to drift into peaceful oblivion once more, his bladder reminded him he was human now and needed to take care of business. Cas stood with a groan, shuffling his feet until he made it to the bathroom. After him human moment, Cas stripped, knowing he would feel a lot more awake after a shower. Just as he was mentally preparing himself to step into the icy water dribbling from the shower head, there was a knock on his door. He considered ignoring it, until Sam called from the other side,

"I know you're awake, as. Just lemmie in." Cas grumbled to himself, wrapping a thin towel around his waist. He shuffled to the door and opened it, barely looking at Sam as he murmured that he should enter.

"Wait here. Be back in a minute." Cas stumbled his way back to the bathroom, where the water still ran.

"Dean told me what happened. What... he did." Cas's mind filled, unbidden, with images. Dean's hands roaming, his sweat glistening. He forced himself to focus.

"Not yet, Sam. Give me one minute. Please." Sam seemed to notice his dry hair for the first time.

"Haven't had your shower yet?" He winced in sympathy. Both Winchesters knew Cas's morning shower was like their first cup of coffee- he couldn't wake up without it. "Sorry. Go ahead." Cas nodded his thanks and closed the bathroom door, which made Sam think about how quickly the former angel had learned to be human. Dean only had to explain to him once that you were supposed to close the bathroom door when you used it and Cas had never forgotten, even having fallen over a year ago. He wasn't very good at talking to strangers, which often had Dean treating him like a child, something Sam _knew_ Castiel didn't appreciate. Sam was more sympathetic, understanding that not having the power he was used to available to back him up could make a man shy, especially knowing the world as they all did. Despite that, Cas had done well. He generally remembered to eat when he was hungry, and had quickly learned to thrive on oly a few hours of sleep, or even a quick catnap in the afternoon. Sam realized belatedly that it was possible Cas was an insomniac.

Cas didn't keep him waiting long- with water that cold he only needed to be under the flowing water for a few minutes. When he exited the bathroom a few moments later, his jeans slug low on his hips, he looked considerably more alive.

"Good morning, Sam." he spoke softly, hesitating to enter the room proper.

"Dean's an idiot but that doesn't mean you have to leave. You can come stay with me for a while." Cas shook his head.

"I am sorry, Sam. I can't."

"We need you, Cas." Cas shook his head again.

"Remember? Without my powers I'm just a 'baby in a trench coat', and I don't even have that anymore." The coat had to be retired when Cas fell as could no longer mojo his clothes clean.

"No, Cas. Dean's an idiot, remember? You can fight, you can shoot, you can translate. But you're more than that. You're kind, and you care. You're sweet." Cas offered a small smile, unaware of what Sam left unsaid but thought with all his being- 'You're beautiful'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Last time...**

**Cas offered a small smile, unaware of what Sam left unsaid, but thought with his entire being- 'You're beautiful'.**

* * *

"Thank you, Sam. You are kind to say such things. But it is too close. It would hurt too much. I am sorry." Sam lived three doors down from the modest apartment Cas and Dean had shared whilst together. The boys still hunted, but now enjoyed a home-base between jobs.

"Don't say that, Cas. You shouldn't be sorry. It's good to see you doing something for yourself for a change." Sam offered a weak smile. Cas tried to tell Sam he did things for himself all the time- he cooked because he liked to see Dean's face light up, he fell from grace so he could always be with Dean, he did the laundry so he could sneak one of Dean's shirts away to sleep in- but stopped when he remembered the betrayal and how he would never get those pleasures again. Sam broke the long moments of silence. "Where will you go?" Cas's eyes widened marginally.

"I do not know. Far away. Somewhere I've never been." Sam nodded, standing.

"Give me a call when you figure it out, let me know you're alive."

"I left my phone." Sam dug the cell phone form his pocket.

"Call me if you need me," he pressed as Cas took the device from him. "Or if you get lonely."

"So long as you do the same." Sam nodded again, took a hesitant step towards Cas, and pulled him tight to his chest.

"I'll miss you, Castiel." Sam took a deep breath.

"And I will miss you." Sam cupped Cas's cheek and placed a gentle kiss to his forehead. "Stay safe," he breathed, before turing and fleeing the scene. As the door slammed shut behind the large man, Cas found his voice.

"May God bless you, Sam Winchester." Suddenly remembering the ache in his legs, Cas sank onto the bed. He tried to watch T.V. for a while, but found himself unable to focus. His mind kept wandering back to Dean, to the moment his world had crumbled around him. He saw, in his mind's eye, Dean. Moaning in pleasure, his fingers trailing down pale skin, his other hand fisted in dark hair.

* * *

When Cas finally managed to pull himself from the all-consuming mental pain, hours had passed and his stomach was rumbling. Cas forced himself from the bed and managed a hot shower to soothe his muscles. Then he set out for the diner from the previous day. After eating, Cas returned to the motel and grabbed his small bag of belongings. He returned the room key and sat in a car he had picked out earlier in the day. Within a few minutes he was chugging down the street, as fast as he was willing to ask the small car to move. He didn't like stealing- he had once been an Angel of the Lord, after all- but he would do it in a pinch. Sam and Dean had taught him a lot since his fall. Cas drove for as long as he could, not paying any attention to where he was headed, so long as it was away. When he stopped in a dirty motel, he switched the licence plates of his stolen car with ones from the car across the lot from his room. He stepped into his room just as the sun was rising. He only slept for a few hours before he was on the road again. He followed the pattern for a few weeks, eating in the car from cheap, greasy diners, eventually exchanging the motels for a few hours in the backseat, after he accidentally stopped at a motel he had been to with Dean. It was getting colder, but Cas preferred it to any more sudden memory attacks he might have suffered. He criss-crossed the country, looking for a place he could belong. He eventually found himself in small town Georgia, where he knew he could find a place for himself. He checked into a motel with a gentle smile , his first since he had seen Sam. This place could be home. Still smiling, he called Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

**Last Time...**

**He checked into a motel with a gentle smile , his first since he had seen Sam. This place could be home. Still smiling, he called Sam.**

* * *

The phone rang three times before it was finally answered.

"Cas?" the other man was excited. "'S that you?" Cas chuckled.

"Hello, Sam."

"I was getting worried when you didn't call... where are you?"

"I am in Georgia. But I apologize for worrying you. Why did you not call me at this number?" Sam didn't answer for a moment.

"I would have, eventually. I just... didn't want to worry you."

"A call from you would have brightened the weeks, Sam. I have been lonely. But I did not call because I had yet to find a place for me. I had no news I could pass on to you."

"I'll keep that in mind for the future. Maybe we can make this communicating thing a regular deal." Cas would hear Sam's smile, and his lips curled into a responding grin without his permission.

"I would like that." Cas's face drooped slightly when Sam asked

"Hoe have you been doing?"

"I have... not been well. I believe, however, that I will get better, someday."

"I'm glad." There was a moment of silence. "I'll talk to you soon, okay Cas? Stay safe."

"You as well." After hanging up, as took his clothes to the coin laundry, their first washing in weeks. It was there that Castiel realized he would need a job- his money was running low. He couldn't help but feel God's hand, despite his knowledge on the subject. It was probably the feeling that lead him to stop at the town's church after dropping his clothes at the motel.

* * *

Cas sat in a pew in the very back, the only person in the large room. He begged for forgiveness for his sins, and ask that his pain be eased, first in English, then Latin, and finally, Enochian when the other two failed to express his feelings, his desire to make amends. When he finally fell silent, tears were streaming down his face. A voice spoke and Cas jumped, his eyes flying open.

"The Father has heard your prayers." A small body sat down next to him, pressed close against his thigh. Cas looked down and saw a small boy smiling angelically up at him. But he was not the speaker. as turned his gaze to a young woman in the aisle between the rows of long pews, obviously the child's mother.

"How can you know?" Cas questioned her, voice more gravelly for his tears. The woman could have said anything. She could have said that God hears all prayers, and all who as are forgiven. Instead, she tilted her head.

"I feel it. Inside. You have been forgiven." Despite himself, Cas believed her. The boy took Cas's hand.

"I'm Michael." he smiled shyly at the former angel.

"I am Castiel." Michael's smile widened.

"You're named after an angel, just like me!" Cas tried not to let his smile fall.

"Yes, I suppose so."

* * *

The woman introduced herself as Ruth and invited Castiel to her house for dinner. After a brief hesitation in which he assessed her actual willingness, he agreed and walked the short distance to Ruth and Michael's house, chatting easily, completely unshy for once. When they reached the small home, Michael was sent to his room to play. Cas offered he help prepare dinner, citing as a passion. While the two chopped and stirred, they talked. At first, Cas asked Ruth about herself, his obvious interest in even the smallest details making her feel like she was under a spotlight. Slowly, she turned the conversation onto him, asking questions about him during the stories she told to answer _his_ questions. Eventually, Castiel was telling stories of his own, explaining why his favorite color (green-yellow with flecks of brown) was his favorite, even though it hurt (he had been describing Dean's eyes). His first mention of Dean launched a whole series of questions, a lot of which Castiel had to get creative about answering, not wanting to lie. When asked how he and Dean had met, he couldn't say he had pulled him from Hell. Instead, he replied with

"He was in a bad place and needed some help." When he asked if he had any siblings, he answered with "A whole host of them." He made many veiled references to Heaven and the supernatural, hoping it was enough to keep the truth hidden. When they- along with Michael- sat down to dinner, Ruth knew a lot about Castiel. She knew that he had never loved before Dean, and that he was hurt- but he had told her as much. She also knew he would never fully get over the pain that single man had caused him, which he hadn't said. And she knew that something wasn't quite right in all that he had told her. She didn't push, though, and told Castiel to come see her at the church the next morning if he wanted a job.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I wasn't gonna show you guys any of Dean and Sam for a while, but Dean insisted. Because this one's so short I'll probably upload another one tonight. I like to stay a few chapters ahead so I've got the next ones already written out in my notebook. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

When Sam's phone rang, Dean picked it up. Seeing Cas's name on the caller ID, he freaked and almost answered it himself. Then he saw a flash of Castiel's face as he left their apartment for the last time. It had been utterly blank, empty, his eyes dead. Dean tossed the phone to Sam, who was waiting impatiently. They were together in a crappy motel room somewhere, Dean wasn't really sure, hunting...something. Even though a part of him yearned to be selfish, to keep Cas to himself, Sam took pity on his brother and put the phone on speaker.

"Cas? 'S that you?" he was excited- it had been weeks. Dean closed his eyes when Cas laughed., and flinched when he spoke.

"Hello, Sam." Dean wanted to shout that he was there too, that he was so sorry, that he would do anything if it would make Cas happy, even if he himself would be miserable, or never even forgiven. Dean focused on Cas's voice, staring intently at the phone. He didn't hear what Sam said, but he listened as Cas rumbled out his location. He winced at the admission that Sam would have brightened Cas's days- not because he was jealous, of course. It was just a resounding reminder that Dean was the only one at fault. Glancing at his brother, Sam asked his last question, knowing the answer could break the other man, but also knowing he needed to hear it.

"How have you been?" Dean took a deep breath and closed his eyes again, sitting up straight. He knew he would be honest- the man knew no other way.

"I have... not been well." Dean's heart broke all over again at his-no, the- former angel's voice. "But I think I will get better." Dean slumped in on himself, relieved. Tears burst forth from his eyes and he put his head in his hands to hide his shame. Sam watched him for a moment, silently, then said his goodbyes to Cas. Neither brother spoke for a long time. Eventually, Sam clapped Dean's shoulder and left, intent on getting the elder man some pie. Dean allowed himself a moment to wallow before grabbing the Hunter's Helper from the bedside table. He had work to do. He couldn't let more people die because he had made a stupid mistake with his boyfriend. The man pushed his pain aside with a shot of Beam and focused on his research. He didn't deserve pity, not even from himself.

Especially not from himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Previously...**

**She didn't push, though, and told Castiel to come see her at the church the next morning if he wanted a job.**

* * *

Cas woke up late the next day, having only managed to fall asleep around 7 am. He stumbled into the church around 10:30, apologies for his late entrance ready to pour from his lips. Ruth, however, smiled brightly.

"Hey! Great timing." She was holding a squalling baby. "Hold her for just a second, I'll go let your new boss know you're here." she winked and handed the infant off, walking away. Cas took her automatically, gently swaying. Ruth turned back to hims as silence suddenly filled the room. "She's been crying for three days. That's it, I call you." Cas tilted his head at the expression but didn't comment. "You're mine. Come with me." Ruth lead him out a side door and down a short flight of stairs. "I'm in charge of the daycare." she explained as they walked. "Generally, I have someone to help me, but she quit just a few days ago. If you want it, the job is yours." Cas bit his lip uncertainly.

"I have no experience with children."

"Clearly they love you. Both Michael and Elizabeth there are quite taken with you." They came to a large set of double doors. "I left one of the older kids in charge, so be prepared for chaos." She opened one of the doors and a roar of sound engulfed the two. Elizabeth, still in Castiel's arms, stirred uncomfortably, whining quietly at the noise. Cas shooshed her absently, patting her back. The room fell silent as the adults entered.

"Ms. Ruth!" a high voice shrieked. "Tabitha is sick!" Ruth turned to the man.

"You can just put her in a crib. I need to go see Tabby." she followed the sound of retching to the bathroom. Cas did as she bid, finding the cribs in an adjacent room. Then he returned to the kids. They were loud but clammed up immediately when they caught sight of the large male. After a few awkward seconds, a little boy spoke up.

"Who are you?" Castiel, suddenly realizing he was the most interesting thing in the room to the children, was shy. He managed to force himself to say

"I am Castiel." but didn't know if he could say anymore. The little boy however, didn't have that problem.

"That's a funny name." Someone else spoke up before Cas could work up the courage.

"It's an angel's name." Michael glared at the other boy. Castiel interrupted before anything else could be said.

"What is your name?" The boy told him, and Castiel asked the rest of the kids their names. After introductions, it got awkward again. Reaching for anything to make the staring stop, Cas finally suggested they play while he went to check on the babies. He watched for a moment as the toddlers drifted to their toys and the older children, who looked to be from 7 to 10, started some sort of chanting game. Inside the other room, two of the babies were awake, cooing to one another.

* * *

That was the day Castiel, former Angel of the Lord, learned about babycare. He learned how to feed an infant and how to change a diaper. He learned how to burp a baby and when it was acceptable for an infant to sleep- pretty much whenever it wanted too. He had also discovered a love of children. He cherished their innocence, a simplicity he adored in even the elder children. As parents got off work, the daycare slowly emptied until it was just Ruth, Michael, and Castiel. Ruth once more invited Cas to dinner. Once she found out where he was staying, she insisted he stay with her until he had enough for an apartment. He, of course, tried to say he was fine, he had stayed in plenty of hotels before, he was used to it by now. This left Ruth indignant. She ranted for several minutes about how Cas was being stupid, no one should stay in a hotel that much, she knows she'll charge less- it's her house, she could make it free if she wanted- until Cas put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you."

* * *

As it turned out, Castiel didn't like being idle. Within a week he was helping the preacher prepare his sermon for Sunday, utilizing his memorization of the Bible. He also took a volunteer job at the library. He started out reading stories to kids, but was quickly moved to middle and high school homework help. Within a five minute conversation he knew the best way to teach a kid something so they'd understand. No matter the subject-expect for current events- Cas knew what to do. He helped with everything from Chemistry to Music Theory, Physics to World History. Slowly, Castiel truly joined human life. He met and became comfortable around the kids's parents, and made easy friendships with Ruth's friends. He called Sam every week, and sometimes Sam called him to ask his opinion on a case, or even just to talk. They never mentioned Dean, and as was almost content, helping everyone he could. Slowly, over several months, Cas was able to think about Dean without wanting to break. Slowly, in small chunks, he was able to think about the day that changed everything. It was months before he could think through the whole thing from start to finish.


	7. Chapter 7

**Previously...**

**Slowly, over several months, Cas was able to think about Dean without wanting to break. Slowly, in small chunks, he was able to think about the day that changed everything. It was months before he could think through the whole thing from start to finish.**

* * *

Cas had been out with Sam, researching at their favorite library. When he returned, the house was quiet. Unworried, he had meandered through the house, eventually deciding Dean was in their bedroom. The door was open, and as Cas approached, he heard a moan- one he knew very well. Dean's voice continued.

"That's right, baby. Just like that." Cas knew something was wrong. Silently he crept to the doorway, where he froze for an infinite amount of time. Dean wasn't alone. A woman straddled his lap as he lay back against the pillows- both naked. Her head was thrown back, and Dean's fingers were threaded through her dark hair. His other hand caressed her thigh as she moved up and down, up and down, up and down... That much, Cas could almost understand. He knew he was fairly plain in all areas- physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually- so he could almost understand Dean desiring another. What he could not fathom was where they conducted their tryst. They could have gone to the woman's apartment- Cas was fairly sure he lived across the hall. They could have gotten a hotel. Instead, they were in Dean and Cas's apartment, in Dean and Cas's bedroom, in Dean and Cas's bedroom. But that wasn't the worst of it- the pair wasn't in the middle of the bed, where one might expect to find them. They were firmly, obviously, on the right side- Cas's side. Without warning or consent, Cas's mind filled with memories as he stared at the new-found couple.

* * *

He remembered the first time Dean had whispered his love. They had joined for the first time, and Cas's head was nuzzled into Dean's shoulder, both men pleasantly drowsy. He whispered it against sweat-soaked skin, as if he said it any louder it would be torn from him in an instant. Cas had smiled and returned the declaration louder, sure that nothing would ever be able to rip them apart. Cas's mind had flown forward a few months to the first time Den had brought him a flower.

* * *

Cas had mentioned how much he liked the Susan's Eyes that grew along the roads on the way back from a particularly tiring salt-and-burn. Dean hadn't said anything, only pushing his baby to drive a little faster. Dean, after dropping his bags on the floor in their apartment, sped away, leaving Cas behind. While he waited, faintly worried Dean was being self-destructive, he cleaned. By the time he unpacked both his and Dean's clothes and scrubbed the entire kitchen, Dean still wasn't home. By about three in the morning, the entire apartment was practically sparkling. Cas, used to still being up at the hour, sat on the couch to wait, flicking on the T.V. for company. About ten minutes later, Dean finally stumbled through the front door, nearly dead on his feet. Cas rushed to his side and took his jacket, hanging it up before really looking at the other man. To his surprise, Dean looked nervous. To his even bigger surprise, he didn't smell of alcohol- he just smelt like Dean. His hands were hidden behind his back. He reached up and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I...uh... I got you something." Cas tilted his head and Dean brought his other hand into view, holding it out to Cas. Held lightly to as to not damage it in any way was a single Susan's Eye flower. Cas was utterly speechless for a long moment. Dean had driven for hours (after driving for _hours_) just to bring him a flower.

"Thank you, Dean." he took the flower gently, pulling Dean in for a sweet kiss. "Why don't you go to bed now? I'll be in in a little while." Dean grumbled something about not sleeping right until Cas was there, and Castiel's heart melted. He watched Dean shed his clothes as he walked, too bushed to even notice how clean the house was- but Cas didn't mind. He just smiled and put the flower on the nearest table, following Dean to the bedroom, dropping his own clothes as he went. He had been planning on staying up for a few more hours, but some things were more important. He wrapped himself around Dean, and the other man was asleep in moment. Cas lay awake for a long time, just staring at Dean with love.

* * *

The last thing Cas had seen in his mind's eye was his fall. He remembered the pain-but it didn't take much. His heart had hurt much less when he ripped his grace from his being. He recalled wondering where his grace would land and who could claim it before the world went fuzzy. For a long time, he couldn't see properly, let alone think anything. Suddenly, Dean had been there. He brought him home and reminded him who he was, who he had been, and who he could still be. He remember Dean teaching him things he had known once and then focusing on things he would need to be human- driving, how money worked, the very very basics of social interactions.

* * *

With the smallest of gasps, as had come back into his own head, still staring as the woman rode Dean. Dean moaned again, and Cas knew what was coming. Not wanting to see anymore, he closed the door with a soft click, leaving the pair alone. Then he sat on the couch to wait, his mind reeling. Just a few moments later the girl left the room, fully clothed. She blushed horrible upon seeing Cas, and scurried from the apartment without a word. Castiel stood and made his way to the bedroom on automatic. He didn't look at Dean, didn't even glance towards the bed. He flinched ever-so-slightly when Dean spoke, his voice scratchy and rough.

"I'm sorry, Cas." Cas glanced at the other man, only to be trapped by what he saw. Dean sat on Cas's side of the bed, sheets draped over his legs. He didn't look at Cas- instead his hands were buried in his hair as he stared resolutely at the ground. "I'm so sorry." Cas tore his eyes away, making his way to the closet. He packed his few belongings, too trapped in his thoughts to notice Dean beside him, slipping cash into his pocket. Every time Dean had ever smiled at him, for him, with hi, flew through the former angel's head as he wondered if they had all been lies. As he left the apartment he decided they must have been. The alternative hurt even more- that Dean had loved him and betrayed him anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

**Previously...**

**Every time Dean had ever smiled at him, for him, with hi, flew through the former angel's head as he wondered if they had all been lies. As he left the apartment he decided they must have been. The alternative hurt even more- that Dean had loved him and betrayed him anyway.**

* * *

It had been a year to the day since Cas had left Dean, when everything changed again. A year to the very moment, when Michael went missing. When human resources failed to produce the boy, Cas sucked it up and looked into the supernatural. Immediately he found what he was looking for and was ashamed- his town was practically demon central.

* * *

"Dammit, Sam. I swear to God if this one isn't the right town, the people can just go to Hell."

"Calm down, Dean. This is it. There's the sign. Let's just get a room and find out what's going on." The boys roared into the only hotel in the one-horse town in Georgia. Not long afterwards Sam and Dean were suited up, and headed to the home of some missing kid.

"Look, Sammy, I just don't see what one missing little kid has to do with all the demonic crap going on in this place. For this level of weird you'd need a lot more blood and guts than one kid can provide."

"We need to look into it. The day he went missing the omens skyrocketed. It's got to have something to do with all the demonic stuff going down here."

"Yeah, well, I just hope the kid ran away to his Grandma's." They pulled up to a cheerfully white two-story with a screened-in front porch. "I hate the south. Even in the winter it's humid as hell." Dean groused as they walked up the steps to the front door. Sam just rolled his eyes and rang the doorbell. A woman with tired eyes answered.

"Can I help you?" Dean smiled as they flashed their FBI badges.

"I'm Agent Tyler and this is my partner, Agent Perry. May we come in?"

"Oh, okay, sure." She stepped back to allow them in, quickly bringing out glasses of sweet tea once she ushered them into the living room. "What can I help you boys with?"

"We're here about your son, Michael." Sam quickly took the conversation over from Dean. "Is it possible he ran away?"

"No, no, Michael is six. He's a good boy." Dean interrupted.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" She nodded and gave him directions. Sam stayed and kept her occupied.

"Has there been anything unusual happening in the house? Flickering lights, cold spots, strange noises, smells...?" The woman shook her head. "Has it just been you and Michael living here?"

"Yes. I had a tenant until a few months ago when he got his own place." She glanced at a clock. "He should be over in just a minute if you wanna talk to him."

"I think that would be for the best." As if on cue, the front door opened.

"Ruth?" Sam's eyebrows shot up- he knew that voice.

* * *

While Sam questioned Ruth downstairs, Dean made his way to the second floor, looking for EMF or sulfur. The only gave a cursory glance to the mom's room, then found the kid's-Micha's?-room. There was no EMF and no sulfur, but something still made him pause. He glanced around the room until his eyes fell on the bedside table. There were several framed pictures, and the one in from caught his attention. The kid was hugging a dark-haired man. Without quite knowing why, Dean ventured closer, picking up the photo. A white-hot flash of pain struck his chest- blue eyes smiled lovingly down at the boy as the man ruffled the child's hair. This was Cas's town. Cas's family. Glancing at several of the other pictures he noticed Cas was in almost all of them, mostly group shots. He put down the picture and picked up a different one- this one was just Cas. He stood in some sort of dressing room somewhere. His arms were flung wide, and he was grinning. He wore a black button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black pants with shiny black shoes. A red tie hung loosely from his neck. Dean thought he looked happy, but something in his eyes was wrong- or maybe it was just the tie.

"Sammy!" his voice was gruff and he knew it wouldn't carry to his brother. He gently placed the photo back in it's place, hurriedly leaving the room. "Gotta get outta here..." he muttered to himself. Just before he reached the stairs , his blood ran cold.

"Ruth?" Cas was here.

* * *

"In here, honey." Ruth had taken to calling Cas by pet names to get him to smile, and the habit had stuck- it was a southern thing, just like the sweet tea Sam had been struggling to swallow. It was really more like colored sugar water. "The FBI is here about Michael." Sam stood as Cas entered the room.

"This man is not FBI. This is Sam." Cas spoke slowly, hesitantly, as if he couldn't believe his own eyes, while Ruth's eyes widened- clearly Castiel had told her about him.

"Hey, Cas." Sam offered a shy smile. Cas's face broke into an answering grin, the widest smile Sam had ever seen on the ex-angel.

"Hello, Sam." Cas crossed the few feet separating them and wrapped his arms around the large man. Sam returned the hug.

"I've missed you, Cas."

"As I have missed you." Cas finally released the other man a few moments later. "Have you come because of the omens?"Sam shot a worried glance at Ruth, he sat, teary-eyed, at the joyful reunion. "She knows -almost- everything." Sam understood what Cas had left out- his own past as an angel.

"Yeah, we are. What's going on around here?" Cas's face fell suddenly.

"I do not know. There are demons everywhere." Cas's eyes widened and he turned to face the stairs. "Dean." he breathed it out just as the man worked up the courage to come into view. For a single, long moment, no one said anything.

"Hi, Cas." the man stared at Castiel's feet.

"Hello, Dean Winchester."

* * *

**A/N Sorry this one took so long, guys. I've had it written for ages, but I'm kind of blocked on the next chapter. I'll pound it out and get it to y'all as soon as I can!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Previously...**

**Cas's eyes widened and he turned to face the stairs. "Dean." he breathed it out just as the man worked up the courage to come into view. For a single, long moment, no one said anything.**

**"Hi, Cas." the man stared at Castiel's feet.**

**"Hello, Dean Winchester."**

* * *

Dean shuffled his feet slightly.

"Uh...how, um, how are you, Cas?" For a single moment, Cas didn't answer and Dean lost the will to avoid the other man's eyes. Instantly he was trapped- Cas's eyes told everything. But Dean couldn't understand anymore. Either he or Cas had changed too much- maybe both of them. Dean didn't read 'Cas' anymore. Before he could try to work it out, Cas's eyes blanked out, becoming flat and lifeless.

"Ask me when we find Michael." his voice was cold. Dean fought the urge to shiver.

"I will." Cas tilted his head ever-so-slightly.

"Okay..." Sam interrupted, putting his hand on Cas's shoulder- Dean was instantly jealous when Cas not only allowed the contact but seemed to welcome it. Ruth stood and joined Cas, entwining their fingers reassuringly. She dragged him gently to the kitchen while Dean stared at their hands. Once they disappeared behind the swinging door, Dean turned to look at his brother.

"Sammy..." he choked out, "I...I need to get out. I... I can't do this. Not... I'm glad he's happy, Sammy, I really am, but I can't watch them be together. " Dean sputtered and spluttered his way through him entire speech and turned to go.

"No, Dean, they're not together." Dean scowled.

"Dammit, Sammy! I saw them, don't you lie to me." The other man crowded into his brother's space, speaking quietly.

"He was her tenant. He moved out a few months ago and got his own place. Remember? He mentioned it one of the times you listened." Dean nodded slowly. Occasionally, during Sam and Cas's weekly phone calls, against his better judgement, Sam would put the phone on speaker. Dean would sit nearby with his eyes closed, remembering better times. Those were the only times Dean ever let his guilt fade away even slightly.

"He...he never mentioned a girl to you?" Sam hesitated.

"Not romantically, no." Dean knew it was one of the worst things he could do, but he felt a wave of relief. "Anything upstairs?" Dean shook his head, welcoming the distraction.

"No EMF, no sulfur, no cold spots. Not even a creepy feeling. This place is clean."

"I am not surprised." Both boys jumped at the voice- they hadn't heard Cas come back in. "Michael disappeared from the church. He had been under my care." Cas's face twisted with a pain that threatened to take over. "I found sulfur there. There are demons all over town. I am surprised you even made it in alive. The car is very recognizable." Dean looked around the room awkwardly and let Sam answer.

"We didn't bring the Impala." Cas's head tilted as he realized he hadn't seen it parked outside.

"Why?" Sam shrugged noncommittally.

"Sometimes we take my car." Cas nodded slowly.

"Okay..." Dean's eyebrows furrowed as he began to think- something Cas had said didn't add up.

* * *

"Me and Dean are gonna check out the church, make sure you didn't miss anything, okay, Cas?"

"I will come with you," the ex-angel replied stoically. "I'll show you where he disappeared from." Sam agreed, ushering Dean from the house, Cas following behind.

"That your car, Cas?" Dean spoke this time. The man nodded.

"Yes." Dean strode forward and placed his hands on the sleek car.

"She's beautiful." he breathed. "How's she run?" Cas smiled softly.

"Wonderfully." There was a slight pause. "Would you like to drive her to the church?" Dean groaned.

"God, yes." Cas chuckled and handed over the keys before climbing into the passenger seat while Same made his way to the other car- you never know when you'll need an arsenal. Dean slid reverently behind the wheel. "I can't believe you drive a '67 Pontiac." Dean smiled at the purr as he turned on the car.

"She was surprisingly cheap. A farmer a few towns over sold her to me for $3,000." Dean whistled in appreciation as he began the short drive over to the church. He was suddenly struck by the thought that somewhere along the past year Cas had mastered the art of small-talk. A few moments of silence passed before Cas spoke again.

"Dean? May I ask you a question?"

"Sure, man. What's up?"

"Why did you do it...?" Dean sighed.

"If we both survive this case I'll tell you, alright?" Cas considered for a moment.

"Very well. I... I have missed you, Dean."

"Missed you too, angel." Dean blushed immediately. "Sorry."

"I don't mind." The boys pulled up the church, followed by Sam. As they entered the grand building, it finally struck Dean what was wrong with what Cas had said, and he grabbed the man by the arm, tugging him until they were facing one another.

"How did you know there are demons everywhere?" Sam raised his eyebrows at his brother.

"He found sulfur, Dean. Are you feeling okay...?"

"He found sulfur where the kid disappeared, but he said there are demons all over town. How did you know?" he shook Cas's arm for emphasis. The other man tilted his head, face a picture of concentration.

"I... I suppose I saw them." the fallen angel finally replied.


	10. Chapter 10

**Previously...**

**"He found sulfur where the kid disappeared, but he said there are demons all over town. How did you know?" he shook Cas's arm for emphasis. The other man tilted his head, face a picture of concentration.**

**"I... I suppose I saw them." the fallen angel finally replied.**

* * *

"Saw them? What do you mean 'saw them'? Saw their eyes? Saw them doing demonic shit, what, Cas?" Dean still hadn't let go of Cas.

"I saw their faces. Inside. Like before I fell."

"Sammy, go get the silver and the holy water." Sam finally on board with his brother's train of thought, sprinted from the building. "I'm gonna be pissed if it's not you in there, Cas." The blue eyed man wasn't listening, though.

"How could I have seen them and not noticed? I have not seen a demon's true face since I fell. How could I have not realized? What is happening to me? What has changed?" his eyes snapped to Dean. "Did you see any demons on the way over?" Dean shook his head and Sam burst back into the room.

"The car is gone." Dean swore but kept his eyes on as as he drew the demon knife from his jacket.

"Let me see your arm, Cas. Roll up your sleeve for me. If you're a demon, we'll know- if you're a shifter or just plain old you, nothing bad'll happen." The shorter man nodded and took his arm back, rolling up his sleeve as he was bid. He offered it to Dean who took hold gently, desperately trying to ignore that is was the first time in a year he had touched Castiel's smooth skin. He nicked the crook of Cas's elbow, watching closely for the red lighting that would signify demonic possession. When nothing supernatural happened, Dean allowed himself a small breath of relief before he got back down to business. "Could still be a shifter." He reminded the other two, his fingers still lingering on Cas.

"This is why you need the tattoo, Cas." Sam said it jokingly- it was an old argument.

"I do not want a tattoo. I like my body how it is."

"So would a demon." Cas slowly reclaimed his arm from Dean and led the way down a flight of stairs, still bickering playfully with Sam. They eventually came to a set of double doors.

"Try not to scare them." Before they could ask who, Cas opened the door and they were engulfed in sound. In the shocked silence that heralded their arrival, Cas spoke to the assembled children. "Everybody, these are my friends Sam and Dean. They're gonna look for Michael." Sam waved awkwardly at the kids and Dean just glared. "Come on, let's all go outside." A harried looking older woman brushed by the trio with a nod. Mrs. Clara watches them while I take my lunch break, Unfortunately she doesn't like children." Cas ushered the children out a door into a medium-sized yard with playground equipment and a few climbing trees. Within moments the children covered almost the entire area, running and screaming gleefully.

"Michael was there." Castiel gestured to a slide, completely empty of children. "They won't go near it since he disappeared." There was a ten-foot bubble of space surrounding the slide- no child would dare enter it. Without speaking, Dean made his way over to the slide was Sam checked out the perimeter. Just as Dean was about to cross the invisible line, a voice called out to him.

"Wait, Mister!" A single little boy had stopped screeching and running around like a moron. "You shouldn't go over there. It could get you."

"What do you mean?"

"It's harder for it to get you if it hasn't been there before."

"What the hell are you talking about, kid? What do you know?" Dean crouched down to the boy's level. "What is it?" The child shrugged, already edging his way back to the safety of the crowd.

"Bad."

* * *

**A/N Another one tonight since they're both kind of short. I have the next 2 chapters written out but I don't have the energy to type them up right now. Besides, how am I supposed to stay ahead of the story if I'm on the same chapter as y'all? I hope you guys enjoyed, I'll try to update again soon but I still don't have my own computer.**

**E**


	11. Chapter 11

**Previously...**

**"It's harder for it to get you if it hasn't been there before."**

**"What the hell are you talking about, kid? What do you know?" Dean crouched down to the boy's level. "What is it?" The child shrugged, already edging his way back to the safety of the crowd.**

**"Bad."**

* * *

"Bad." Dean repeated it. "That's all you got for me? Could you be a little more vague, please?" The kid frowned, confused. "Nevermind. Thanks, kid." Sam wandered over just as the kid ran away.

"Nothing weird about the perimeter."

"Yeah, same here." Dean glanced at the slide as he stood. "We should go back to the hotel and check into town and church history. Sam nodded.

"And find my car." Dean snorted.

"Yeah. And find your car." Castiel allowed the boys to take his car as long as one of them would pick him up when he called. They left and the hours passed with no answers as to what was happening. The moon wasn't doing anything interesting for a while, there were no obscure holidays. The boys still had nothing when Cas finally called, asking to be picked up at the town library.

* * *

When the car pulled up, Cas climbed in without bothering to look at the driver. He already knew who it was. He waved to a small group of teenagers clustered near the door, several of whom waved back.

"The kids seem to like you." Dean sounded tired.

"Hoe long has it been since you slept?" Castiel asked abruptly, causing the taller man to snort.

"Full night, no heavy-duty meds blow to the head or supernatural causes?" Cas nodded. "Long time. Before you... before I messed up." For a long moment, Cas didn't answer.

"Take the next left." Dean shot a confused glance towards the ex-angel, but did as he was bid. A few moments later Cas directed him to stop the car. They both got out and Cas indicated that Dean should follow. As they walked up a flight of stairs, Dean began to get nervous.

"This is a really bad plan. I'm along with the guy who might be a shifter and no one knows where we are..." Cas shook his head with a slight smile.

"I have a camera inside. Would you like to check me?" Dean hesitated when they stopped outside a clean white door.

"I trust you, Cas." The smaller man nodded once, unlocked the door, and stepped into his apartment.

* * *

"Make yourself comfortable." Dean shifted his weight, keeping his back to the wall.

"Why are we here, Cas?" The other man didn't answer. Instead, Cas kicked off his shoes.

"I'm going to change. I'll be right back. Please, have a seat." Cas entered a side room-presumably his bedroom- after showing Dean to the slightly ratty-but still clean- living room. Dean took a hesitant seat on the couch, ready to spring into action at any time. A few moments later, Cas came back into the room. He was wearing over-sized flannel pants and a tight white t-shirt, obviously his pajamas. He curled up on the couch, tucking his feet under his body. Without seeming to notice Dean he turned on the TV. Dean wasn't really sure what they were watching- he was too on edge to really focus on it. All he noticed was there seemed to be an unnatural amount of explosions, though Cas had the volume turned down very low. Slowly, Dean allowed himself to relax. He found his eyes fighting to stay open as Cas sat silently on the other side of the couch, seemingly absorbed in his film. Just as Dean was about to succumb to sleep, Cas stood. Dean forced his eyes open, blinking blearily up at Castiel, who gently took him by the hand. He led him to the bedroom and sat him gently on the bed. He kneeled by Dean's feet, working methodically to remove the other man's boots and jacket. After a second's hesitation he pushed Dean until he was lying down, already half asleep. Still with the utmost gentleness, he unbuttoned Dean's jeans and shimmied them down his hips. Dean didn't even think to protest. Once he was left in t-shirt and boxers, Cas folded the jeans and placed them on top of his dresser, before crawling into bed next ot Dean. He pulled the blankets over them both and cradled his ex-lover in his arms.

"Sleep now, Dean Winchester. I will watch over you tonight." Cas's voice was laced with affection and sadness- before, he had said those exact words almost nightly to the other man. Dean fell asleep quickly, entangling himself in the fallen angel as he did so. Cas waited the night out, as he had done countless times before, soothing the nightmares before they could ever wake Dean.


	12. Chapter 12

**Previously...**

**"Sleep now, Dean Winchester. I will watch over you tonight." Cas's voice was laced with affection and sadness- before, he had said those exact words almost nightly to the other man. Dean fell asleep quickly, entangling himself in the fallen angel as he did so. Cas waited the night out, as he had done countless times before, soothing the nightmares before they could ever wake Dean.**

* * *

When Dean woke up, he smiled. He didn't know why at first. Then he frowned- the sun was in his eyes.

"Sun?" Dean muttered to himself, sitting up. He tried to remember the last time he woke up after the sunrise and found himself unable to as he looked around the room. He suddenly remembered- "Cas." A quick glance to his side affirmed what he already knew- Cas was gone. Dean got dressed and locked the door to the empty apartment as he left- Cas had left the key with a short note to do so, please. The care was still parked in the front and Dean realized the keys were still in his pocket. He drove quickly to the church. He found Cas in the nursery, feeding a baby from a bottle, cooing softly to her.

"Hello, Dean." he murmured as he bounced gently on the balls of his feet.

"Hey, Cas. Listen, about last night..." Cas put the baby down and turned to face Dean. "Thanks. I just woke up a minute ago. I... thanks." Cas nodded.

"I am glad I could help." Cas denied the car keys when Dean offered them. Dean didn't want to leave when he and Cas were finally warming up, but he had a case to solve. He promised to pick Cas up from the library when he called. As he made his way back to the car, he ran into Ruth. Her eyes narrowed.

"The only reason I haven't castrated you is because Castiel asked me not to, said he didn't blame you, had forgiven you. He decided it's HIS fault for loving you. That what you did is a natural reaction, since you didn't love him. But you know what? It still hurts him. He will never stop hurting over you. The longer you're here the more he will hurt. Do you really not give a damn about that beautiful man?" Ruth's voice was cold and she radiated anger. Dean, on the other hand, seemed to deflate.

"I did love him-do love him- so much. So much it hurts. I know I hurt him even worse, God, I know it. I'm so sorry." Ruth's features slowly softened.

"Oh, honey." she wrapped her small arms around the man's large frame. "You'll always hurt too. You poor idiot." she stroked her hair affectionately, pulling his head down to rest on her shoulder. Dean found it surprisingly comfortable, despite the height differences, and allowed the contact. "I'm sorry, honey. He was the one for you, but I think it's too late. If you got back together he'd always be wondering what-or who- you were doing. You would hate it. You both need to heal." Just then, Dean's phone rang. He sprang away from Dean to answer.

"Hello?" his voice was scratchy with unshed tears.

"Hey, Dean. Did I wake you up? Cas said you crashed at his place."

"No, I'm over at the church."

"Come to the motel, bring Cas if you can. I know what's going on around here."

"Alright, we'll be right over." Dean slammed his phone shut and spun to race back towards the daycare, Ruth hot on his heels.

"What's happening?" she demanded to Dean's back. Dean opened the door and yelled above the noise.

"Cas! We gotta go!" Instantly Cas was by his side, and Dean blinked hard. "We are so talking about that later, man. Come on, Sam knows what's up." Cas waved to Ruth and the kids before fleeing with Dean.

* * *

"I found a spell in here and I think the demon's are trying to do it. You need 100 kids. I think Michael was the 100th." Sam was explaining to Dean and Cas as he scrolled through various web pages. "That's why the demonic omens went up. It's also why the demons are everywhere. For every one kids you need two demons."

"What's it for? What's the endgame here?" Dean demanded."As near as I can tell... they'll turn them all into demons... instantly." Dean's eyes widened as Cas growled deep in his chest.

"Michael will not become a demon. I will not allow it. How long do we have?"

"They need to finish the spell on the new moon. We've got about a week to find the kids. And deal with 200 demons." Sam finished grimly.

"We'll call in some favors, get every hunter we know down here. But first, what the hell is going on with you, Cas?"

"What do you mean?"

"Back at the church, you got to me fast. Like, really fast. Instant-fast."

"I still do not understand."

"You can see demon's faces. You move faster than any human, ever. Dude, something supernatural is going on with you. I think we need to check with that camera."

* * *

Back at Cas's house, Sam took a look around and Dean checked Cas for any supernatural activity. Dean had Cas look into the video camera, eat some salt, and eventually tried spilling salt in front of him. Sam walked around with an EMF reader admiring the space. All the furniture was clean and arranged to invite conversation. The colors were warm and Sam loved it. He didn't want to spend too much time in Cas's room- it felt like intruding. Unfortunately, as soon as he poked his head in her knew something was wrong- the entire room smelled of sulfur.

* * *

Not as far away as you might think, 100 children cowered in terror. It was cold, damp, dark, and smelly. They were hungry and thirsty. Occasionally one of them would be taken away, never to be seen or heard from again. A new child always appeared not long afterwards to replace the missing one. The kids were guarded. Sometimes the guards would talk to each other. One such time, they inadvertently spread hope-

"The Winchesters are here."

"We knew they'd show up- we've got some serious stuff going on here."harm to us. But he will serve his purpose."

"The angel is with them."

"Castiel? He is fallen and will do no harm to us." At Castiel's name, a single head popped up from where it had been leaning on the owner's arms.

"Castiel." he breathed it out with a smile. "He will save me. He will save us all." Michael's smile grew into a grin as he leaned over to whisper to his neighbor of his friend- the angel, Castiel.


	13. Chapter 13

**Previously...**

**He didn't want to spend too much time in Cas's room- it felt like intruding. Unfortunately, as soon as he poked his head in her knew something was wrong- the entire room smelled of sulfur.**

* * *

"Dean!" Sam pulled his gun and ran back to his brother.

"What is it, Sammy?" Dean's gun was also drawn when Sam entered the room.

"The whole bedroom smells like sulfur."

"Cas is just Cas, I checked."

"Well, I need to check you." Dean nodded shortly and pulled his shirt collar down, revealing his unbroken anti-possession tattoo. A moment later, Sam did as well.

"Okay?" Dean asked as he put away his gun.

"Okay. But what the hell, Dean? Cas?" Sam turned his gaze to the smaller man. "Why's it stink?"

"It didn't last night." Cas shrugged. "I do not know." Dean nodded his agreement.

"Everything was normal last night." Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You were both in the bedroom?" Dean shot his brother a glare.

"Mind outta the gutter, Sammy."

"I'm just sayin'..."

"Yeah, well, don't. What me 'n Cas may or may not have done in his bedroom, or any other room for that matter, is none of your business. Am I right, Cas?" Dean was only trying to hide his embarrassment, but when he turned for confirmation to Castiel, he was gone. "Where'd he go?" Sam shrugged, obviously as puzzled as his brother.

"The kitchen, maybe?" A quick but thorough search confirmed that Cas wasn't in the apartment, and he wasn't answering his phone.

* * *

"Please save us, Castiel." At first, Cas thought he was going crazy. "Please, Mr. Castiel, come help us." He hadn't heard this many voices in his head for years. "You're an angel. That means you can save us." He could hardly think through the child-like pleading in his skull. "I'm cold. And hungry. And...and I'm scared of the dark. Please don't let them take me away, I swear I'll be good." He listened for a long time to the discordant mesh of voices and they slowly dropped off, until a single voice remained- Michael.

"I told everyone about you, Castiel. I told 'em you're an angel. I hope you don't mind... it's cold and I want you to come save us, okay? We're underground someplace, I think you can get in by the slide. Please hurry? Please, please, please..." Michael continued to plead, and without conscious thought, Cas left the apartment, headed straight for the church. On auto-pilot, he stopped by the slide as the other children began to plead with him-pray to him- again.

"I will save you." He murmured it aloud, knowing the children wouldn't hear him- prayer's not a two-way channel. He felt a prickling on the back of his neck and turned to look around. Across the yard, a single figure stood, apparently human- but Cas knew the truth. He saw the demon's ugly face as it leered at him. Slowly, it stalked towards him, speaking as it entered hearing range.

"How the mighty have fallen. Literally. Time was no demon would dare approach you, Castiel. Now you're free game, and I want to play." the demon cackled. "I'll even give you the first shot." he stopped half an arm's length away from Cas, arms spread wide to the sides. "Go on, give me your best shot, feathers." Cas lifted his hand slowly and placed it on the demon's face. "What, are you gonna smite me?" the demon began to laugh again.

"Yes." A bright light burst forth from Cas's hand, and the demon's eyes lit up, the same light pouring from it's mouth. The body fell to the ground, and for a moment, Cas just stared, before collapsing himself.

* * *

"Dammit, Sam! It's been hours!" Sam had been quietly researching the area when Dean shattered the silence.

"I know, Dean. I'm worried about him too." They were still in Cas's apartment, hoping he would eventually return. "You're not the only that cares about Cas." Dean sighed and attempted to return to his maps.

"I know, little brother. I just... I hope he gets back soon." Even as he was speaking, the front door opened.

"Help! I need help!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Previously...**

**"I know, Dean. I'm worried about him too." They were still in Cas's apartment, hoping he would eventually return. "You're not the only that cares about Cas." Dean sighed and attempted to return to his maps.**

**"I know, little brother. I just... I hope he gets back soon." Even as he was speaking, the front door opened.**

**"Help! I need help!"**

* * *

Sam and Dean rushed to the voice, though it was clearly not Castiel's. Ruth stood in the doorway, a nearly unconscious Cas leaning heavily on her. The boys took control, picking Cas up between the two of them.

"What happened?" Dean demanded as they hurried to the bedroom.

"I don't know, I brought the kids outside to play and he was passed out by the slide, and there was this other guy, and he was dead, and..." Ruth kept babbling but Dean interrupted.

"How'd you even get him up here?"

"He woke up, said he was fine but needed a ride home, we gout outside the door and he just... fell." The boys put Cas on the bed and Ruth fluttered around helplessly. "What do we do?" Dean and Sam exchanged a glance.

"We wait." Sam shrugged. "And hope he wakes up." Ruth sat heafily in the desk chair and bowed her head, murmuring a prayer. Sam dragged a reluctant Dean from the room.

* * *

At exactly midnight, Cas's eyes popped open and a loud rustling filled the rool. Dean was seated in the desk chair, pretending to study maps of the area. Same had gone out for coffee and Ruth slept on the couch in the living room. As soon as the noise began, Dean stood, looking around the room before glancing at Cas, who was sitting ramrod straight in the middle of the bed. Within a few moments the room fell silent again.

"What the hell, Cas?" The man turned his gaze to Dean, eyes aglow. "Shit."

* * *

"It has been a while, Castiel." Cas knew that voice. "Welcome back." Cas opened his eyes to find himself standing in a beautiful garden.

"I have died." The voice laughed and Cas spun to face it- or rather it's owner, the angel Joshua.

"No. You are still very much alive."

"Then what has happened? Why have I returned to Heaven?"

"Father has a plan for you, Castiel. He has given you grace anew."

"He... has returned my grace to me?" Joshua shook his head.

"No, that's still where you left it, it's got a lovely little garden surrounding it... and it grew inside a dogwood. Almost ironic, wouldn't you say?"

"I... do not understand. Why has Father done this?"

"It's like I said, Castiel. He has a plan for you- he doesn't want all of those children to be turned into bloodthirsty abominations."

"But why not send one of the Garrison? I don't want to be an angel!" Cas was getting angry. He was perfectly as a human, and told Joshua as much.

"No, Castiel. All of Heaven knows of your unhappiness since you left your human. Certainly, you have things in your life that give you joy, but you cannot honestly say that there is nothing you would change given a chance. Besides, there's no way you could save the children, could save your human Michael, if you were not reclaimed as one of God's own. But do not worry, little brother- though Heaven will be open to you it will not attempt to control you, nor will it send it's wrath upon you or those you protect. You're not like the rest of us, Castiel. You maintain free will. Think of yourself as... a patron angel. A small town in Georgia has claimed you as their own. They'll need you in the future, and God has given you reign to help them however and whenever you see fit. He also told me to mention that some of them down there will be able to see you as you are, even those who could not before." Joshua paused, tilting his head as though he were listening to a very far-off noise. Slowly, a grin broke out across his face and his eyes shined with joy. "Father will return to rule from his throne within your Dean's life. He will insure all I have said." Joshua let his grin fade to a warm smile. "Not I think you should find your way back to your body- I'm afraid it's been acting on it's own and Dean is becoming quite frightened."

"Thank you, Joshua." Tentatively, Castiel spread wings he hadn't felt for so long, finally feeling complete once more. When they moved easily, as eager for flight as he, he let out a boisterous laugh and sped towards the Earth, and angel once more.


	15. Chapter 15

**Previously...**

**"Now I think you should find your way back to your body- I'm afraid it's been acting on it's own and Dean is becoming quite frightened."**

**"Thank you, Joshua." Tentatively, Castiel spread wings he hadn't felt for so long, finally feeling complete once more. When they moved easily, as eager for flight as he, he let out a boisterous laugh and sped towards the Earth, and angel once more.**

* * *

As Castiel turned to face Dean, the flapping noises filled the air once more.

"Cas, buddy, you're freaking me out a little. Normal people don't uh...glow, quite that much. Cas finally answered the man- it had been about five minutes of silence from the angel.

"My apologies, Dean." Cas focused slightly and hid his angelic grace.

"Any time now, Cas..."

"Dean, you should not be able to see anything out of the ordinary." Dean snorted.

"Yeah. Because you're definitely not lit up like a Christmas tree. What's going on?"

"I am an angel once more. God has reclaimed me and given me new grace. As soon as you and Sam are prepared we can save the children."

"What the hell, man? Just slow down for a second. as tilted his head.

"Why?"

"Okay, first off you just basically told me you're magically an angel again. Secondly, there at least two hundred of the damned things, and you want the three of us to take out the demons by ourselves?"

"Of course not, Dean. That would be absurd." Dean relaxed slightly. "I will kill the demons while you and Sam escort the children to safety." Dean shook his head.

"No way. Just... tell me what happened, and we'll fight about this later." So Castiel began to explain. Just as he was describing hearing the children's prayers Ruth appeared in the doorway. she flung herself into his arms, before taking a sharp step back and slapping the back of his head.

"I don't know what you did, Castiel, but if you ever do it again I'll kill you myself." Cas nodded and smiled.

"Of course. But now I need you to go home. I will return Michael to you." Ruth protested vehemently, but before she could really understand what was happening, Castiel had led her to her car and was closing the driver's door with her inside. Angrily, she drove away and Cas returned to his apartment. There he finished telling Dean his tale.

* * *

The human was stunned. Cas, his Cas, was an angel again. He paced the length of the living room anxiously, having moved there while Cas sent Ruth away. Seeing no other option, he made a joke.

"At least getting back your powers didn't shove that stick back up your ass. No reset button, apparently." Cas smiled.

"There is that." he agreed easily. "I am not as I was. Before, I felt a certain detachment between myself and my vessel, as though my grace was cushioning me. Now... I still _feel_ human. I can't help but wonder... Dean, may I try something with you?" The angel shuffled his feet nervously and bit his lip. Dean nodded, more than a little apprehensive. Suddenly Cas appeared directly in from of him, eyes sparkling with sadness and something Dean couldn't quite read- but one for two is better than nothing, right? Cas leaned forward slowly, his eyes flickering to Dean's mouth before fluttering closed as he pressed his lips to Dean's own. They both sighed as their mouths met in a once familiar dance half-forgotten by time. When Cas finally pulled back he didn't go far- only a few inches when he realized Dean's arms were wrapped around his waist and his own had crept up to circle the human's neck. "Still as vivid." he breathed, eyes blown with lust. "I can't help but wonder if... everything would be." Dean groaned.

"I'm all for finding out, angel." Cas nodded and captured Dean's lips in a short but searing kiss.

"Get rid of Sam." he whispered as he finally drew away. "Quickly, or I'll start without you." Just as Cas disappeared into the bedroom, door clicking softly behind him, the front door opened. Upon seeing Dean, Sam spoke.

"Any change in Cas?" Dean nodded distractedly, his eyes flickering between Sam and the bedroom door.

"Yeah. He's an angel again, full power, glowing. I'll tell you all about it later." Dean ushered Sam back towards the door. "No, I'm not possessed, but you gotta go. Like, now." Sam finally took in Dean's full appearance- messy hair and red lips, hazy, not-all-there look in his eyes.

"No, Dean. Neither one of you is ready for this."

"We'll be fine. Go, now, please?" Sam raised his hands in defeat.

"It's a bad idea." he called as he left, presumably back to the motel. Dean didn't hear the warning. Cas was waiting, hopefully naked. Yeah, naked would be good. Dean liked naked.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey guys! Sorry updates have been a little erratic lately, I'll try and get better, but I'm in a bit of a block for the next chapter right now. I know basically how this story will end, and I'm having trouble with a few of the details, but I'll see you guys soon in the next chapter! Thanks for reading!**

**Em**


	16. Chapter 16

**Previously...**

**"We'll be fine. Go, now, please?" Sam raised his hands in defeat.**

**"It's a bad idea." he called as he left, presumably back to the motel. Dean didn't hear the warning. Cas was waiting, hopefully naked. Yeah, naked would be good. Dean liked naked.**

* * *

When Dean woke up, he was smiling, much like the first time. The bed next to him was empty and cold- but Dean expected that. What he didn't expect was for Cas to still be around when he left the bedroom- mercifully partially clothed.

"Good morning, Dean. I trust you slept well?" Dean scratched his bare chest absently and hummed his assent. "Sam called a few hours ago." Dean glanced hastily at the clock- he had once more slept through the night. "He requested that you call him when you wake up. If you would like to take a shower I can call Sam." Dean smiled.

"Thanks, Cas. Were... were we gonna talk about this?" Cas tilted his head with a smirk.

"When we both survive the hunt." Dean rolled his eyes and left the room, muttering to himself about 'snarky, sassy angels'. Cas alerted Sam that his brother was awake, then curled up on his couch with a book to wait, listening to the children's pleading prayers. Every now and again he shuffled his wings, just to be sure they were still there. Not long afterwards, Sam showed up, and a few minutes later, Dean left the shower, dressed only in his jeans. He entered the living room and opened his mouth to speak, but Cas beat him to it. "Yes, you may borrow a shirt." Dean huffed in irritation.

"Don't read my mind."

"I didn't- I just know you." Dean resisted the urge to make a rude comeback and instead left the room. When he re-emerged, now wearing one of Cas's t-shirts, he told Cas's story to Sam, and in the same breath spoke to Cas himself.

"...and that's why you're glowing and kind of...wing-ing, right?"The other two looked at him like he was insane.

"Uh... Dean? Cas isn't glowing or...wing-ing."

"Sammy, the guy is lighting up the room..." glanced at Cas. "Right?"

"Cover your ears, Sam. This will only take a moment." Sam hesitantly did as he was told. A shrill shrieking filled the room. "Can you... hear me, Dean?" The man snorted.

"Of course I can hear you, do I look deaf?"

"Have me leave the room next time, yeah, Cas?"

"What the hell are you two talking about?"

"You have become able to see my true visage. I suspect with a little effort on either of our parts you would be able to fully perceive my wings." Cas rolled his shoulders to insure that he did, in fact, still have wings to be perceived.

"That's... weird." Dean grimaced.

"Joshua said it could happen." Looking around the room, Cas suddenly snapped into soldier-mode. "Let's go get the kids."

* * *

The men stood at the slide in the church playground. Cas tiled his head slightly, eyes searching.

"There."

"What?" Sam looked uncomfortable. He didn't trust Cas's sudden angelic powers, despite any...feelings... he may have been harboring for years.

"The entrance. Follow me." Cas ducked between the slide and the ladder, disappearing instantly, Dean directly behind him. Sam glanced around uneasily and followed them in. He was immediately greeted with a long, sloping passage, heading steadily down. He and Dean pulled out their flashlights-and their guns- and Cas led the way. Several minutes passed in silence.

"Why haven't we been attacked?" Sam spoke quietly. "We always get attacked."

"They know we're here. They will gather for a singular attack." Cas didn't bother to lower his voice. A few more minutes passed until Cas stopped. A large cavern was just visible ahead, dimly lit. The boys clicked off their flashlights and Castiel straightened his spine. "Wait here. You will know when to follow." Without waiting for a response, Cas strode into the cavern, Dean hot on his heels. "Stay," Cas growled, eyes facing forward. "Do not make me restrain you." That stopped Dean in his tracks- the other man clearly didn't mean that in the fun, kinky kind of way. Before any protests could be made, Castiel had entered the room. For a long moment, nothing seemed to happen. Then a brilliant light filled the tunnel and hundreds of voices began to scream- Cas's foremost among them. Dean broke from his position and ran into the holy light. Sam tried to follow but was forced to stop and cover his eyes.


	17. The End

**Previously...**

**"Stay," Cas growled, eyes facing forward. "Do not make me restrain you." That stopped Dean in his tracks- the other man clearly didn't mean that in the fun, kinky kind of way. Before any protests could be made, Castiel had entered the room. For a long moment, nothing seemed to happen. Then a brilliant light filled the tunnel and hundreds of voices began to scream- Cas's foremost among them. Dean broke from his position and ran into the holy light. Sam tried to follow but was forced to stop and cover his eyes.**

* * *

Dean found Castiel standing in the center of the mass of demons, light pouring from his eyes and hands, which were flung out to the sides. Dean saw the angel's wings arched high above his head- not a shadow, like he was used to. Nor was it the fluffy white feathers of his imagination- they seemed to be more scaly then feathery, and they were a dull red. They looked like armor. One by one, the demons began to fall. As the last demon hit the ground, the room fell to silence, and Cas lowered his arms, the light fading. Dean kept his eyes trained on the large wings as they folded slowly behind Cas's back. One they seemed settled, they disappeared. Sam came jogging into view not that the light had stopped.

"Are they alive?" he gestured to the multitude of bodies strewn about the cavern, and Cas's shoulders slumped.

"No." The boys all took a moment to mourn the loss privately.

"Let's go. We can't save everybody." Dean broke the silence. "We've still got a job to do." Castiel once again took the lead, leaving the cavern behind. A few minutes later, a ghost of a smile formed on his face.

"We're almost there." After a few more moments, they came upon a second large cavern. It was dark, and noticeably colder than everywhere else. The air was damp and smelled like wet dog mixed with hellfire. It's massive, soaring high above their heads is sloppy chunks, and even with their flashlights they can't see the other side. At first glance, the room seems empty. On a hunch, Dean points his flashlight to the floor nearest the wall- children were huddled there. They lined the entire room. He crouches down and touches the first little girl lightly on the shoulder. She jumps but doesn't make a sound, not looking up.

"Hey." Dean's voice is soft, kind. "We're here to help. Can you walk?" She glances up at him and nods slightly.

"Yes, sir." Dean offers a smile.

"Good girl. Sammy will lead you outta here, alright?" He gestured to his overlarge brother, who attempted to look non-threatening. She nodded slightly again, and Dean helped her stand. He did the same for the next few kids and Cas walked past him, healing what he could as he went. One of the boys spoke in a whisper, right into Dean's ear.

"Are you the angel?" Dean smiled and shook his head, pointing down the line to Cas.

"He is, though." The boy grinned and allowed himself to be led from the room. Dean watched the next few kids shuffle by slowly, in obvious pain. Cas flitted from child to child, giving small smiles and kind touches. 76 kids later, he finally found what he was looking for.

"Michael!" Castiel dropped to his knees and enveloped the child in a hug.

"I knew you would find me." Michael whispered into the man's neck. "I knew it."

* * *

The children were all sent to their various homes around the country, and Castiel personally delivered Michael to his mother's arms. When he returned to his own apartment later, he wasn't surprised to find Dean waiting. He was, however, surprised to see the Impala behind him.

"When did she get here?" Cas ran his hands over the sleek car.

"We just got in. Me 'n Sammy went home real quick, declared his car stolen, got the mail, you know." Cas nodded.

"We both survived the hunt." he noted with a head-tilt. "Let's go get pie." Dean hummed his agreement and they both climbed into the Impala, and Cas couldn't help but smile at the roar of the engine. They didn't speak until they sat in a corner booth of the town's small diner, pie ordered. Cas spoke first. "You cheated on me." Dean winced, but nodded.

"I-"

"You slept with the girl from across the hall. In our apartment, in our bed... in my spot." Dean's shoulders slumped a little with each word. "You said you were sorry. You gave me your money, you let me think everything had been a lie. You let me leave, let me walk alone and unprotected for three days. Then you sent Sam to check on me." Dean wouldn't look at Castiel. "Why?" Eyes fixed steadily to the table, Dean spoke, voice raw.

"I was scared, Cas. I was so damned scared. You were my longest relationship ever, still are. But I wanted to much more, Cas. I wanted everything. But whenever I want something that much, I mess up. I...I guess I wanted to choose how, for once. Otherwise it could have been so much worse. I could have gotten you killed because I wasn't paying attention, because I couldn't get my head of the ring I had in my pocket, if you would say yes-" Dean finally looked at the other man as a single tear rolled down his face, seemingly thousands more ready to burst forth at an moment. "But you weren't alone. I could never leave you alone, Cas. I was behind you for three days. I walked behind you until you got to the crappy motel, until you got into that shitty little room. That's how I knew where to send Sammy. I know I said it before, but I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry." For a long time neither man moved, staring into each other's eyes. Their gaze was broken by the waitress. She plopped their pie in from of them, lollipop sticking from her mouth.

"Here ya go, knucklehead." Cas thanked the short brunette absently, looking towards his plate. The waitress left and for a moment, it was awkward- Dean's eyes were still red, Cas's mind still reeling.

"That's damned good pie." Dean smiled Cas chuckled, taking a bite out of his own pastry. He nodded his agreement and looked back to Dean.

"Now what?" Dean grimaced.

"I don't know."

"Nor do I." The boys finished their pie in tense but comfortable silence. Dean spoke as he pushed away his plate.

"I have an idea, but I don't know how you'll take it." Castiel pushed away his own empty plate , folding his hands in front of him.

"I'm listening." Dean cleared his throat nervously.

"Go on a date with me." Cas's eyes widened.

"Okay."

* * *

**A/N Alright, guys. That's it. Thank you so much for sticking around, but this is the end. I don't know what happens next- Cas and Dean don't either. I don't know what they'll do on their date or how it will go. I don't know how their lives pan out. So this is it. What do you think happens?**


End file.
